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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their friendship?